Present or Gift?

This morning when I sat at the computer to order another item from my family’s wish list, I wondered: which is right? Present or gift? (Random thoughts seem to traipse in with a second cup of coffee, which are almost always followed by an urgent appeal to the internet search gods.)

Merriam-Webster (M-W) assured me that I can use present or gift interchangeably, and that there is “no difference between presenting a gift or gifting a present.” Whew! Glad that’s decided. (Sip, sip.)

M-W also reminded me that a gift or present refers to “something that is thoughtfully given to someone without expectation of return.” (I disagree with this part of the definition. I think most people would admit to feeling a bit put off if they didn’t receive a little something in return. Just saying.)

The pandemic aside, holiday gift giving is a tedious process for me every year.

First, there are the folks I must gift because they’re family or close friends. For them, I take pride in selecting something that they did not ask for but would appreciate receiving. As they unwrap my carefully chosen present, the smile that turns their face into rays of sunshine is my gift in return. I’ve accepted the reality that most family gift exchanges will be virtual this year. (Anybody notice how expensive it is to mail stuff this season?)

The people that I feel I should offer some token of my appreciation are next on my list: the piano teacher, the cleaning lady, the hair stylist, and the mailman. It’s hard to know what they look like anymore, behind their masks. Oh well. In my blue plastic gloves, I will hand over their checks sealed in sanitized envelopes with holiday stickers (no tape or spit this year!).

Rounding out my gift giving are individuals I want to remember: the friend that dropped off soup when I had a sinus infection; the hostess who always offers (not this year!) to host the annual book club Christmas party; the neighbor who retrieved the packages on my doorstep when I was out of town; and my three pet charities. Most of these dear folks will find a package on their threshold followed by a text alerting them to retrieve the gift. (Keeping everyone safe during Covid entails adhering to a strict protocol.)

Beyond my must, should, and want gift lists, I have this worry about being caught up short, i.e. inadvertently neglecting someone.  Even though M-W clearly stated that the act of presenting a gift means there is no expectation of a return, I disagree. In that vein, I admit to keeping a “gift closet,” a place where I periodically add to an inventory of scented soaps, specialty hand lotions, gift towels, and clever notecards. In a pinch, I can nab a unique item for a holiday hostess gift or last-minute get-together. My mother taught me that it’s rude to not acknowledge someone’s generosity however insignificant it might seem. Sadly, with so many holiday gatherings cancelled or gone virtual, the shelves in my “gift closet” are resembling a Target aisle. 

In a year with less opportunity to present gifts or gift presents (thank you M-W!) how do we change up how we recognize the people we must, should, and want to honor?

I have an idea (thanks to that second cup of coffee).

Just say thank you. With a smile (it can be an emoji!). Go out of your way to call, text, email or ZOOM the people who have affected your life in a positive manner. Two little words, each a present or gift to someone who might need: one, small, good thing to happen to them today.

To you dear readers, I say, THANK YOU!!!

You have rewarded me with your online fellowship, your diligence in reading my weekly ramblings, and your thoughtful responses. Without all of you I would be a woman alone in her office, caught up inside her head (and perusing the Merriam-Webster website), while drinking too much coffee.

Cheers! 

Don’t miss a blog post!

Receive my blog posts directly to your inbox. 

Available on Amazon!