What to say when someone

is being ridiculous

​

When our four kids were growing up– their ages spanned a decade– dealing with such an array of developmental stages meant shifting gears on a dime. 

One kid would be on the slippery slope of puberty’s emotional roller coaster while another child was dealing with just plain old thirst and hunger needs. As parents of such a disparate group, making everyone happy was often ridiculously impossible. Add sports and activities to the mix and you have the perfect climate for arguments and headaches (yes, I know, we did it to ourselves!). 

During these years, family life was an exercise in triage: deal with the most unhappy person first and then go down the list. 

On one of those weekends when my husband and I agreed to divide and conquer– i.e., he had two kids to tote to Saturday AYSO soccer while I had the baby at our oldest daughter’s hotter-than-hell indoor swim meet–he coined a phrase that still gets the family giggles going.

After soccer game number one, my hubby hustled the “middle” kids into the car. He needed to race across town to get to the next kid’s soccer game. Sweaty soccer star number one squealed and whined. The tantrum no doubt had something to do with missing out on the sugary treats being handed out equally to winners and losers. Hubby scooped up the malcontent, plopped him into the back seat, and clicked the seatbelt. This manhandling only intensified our entitled little soccer star’s histrionics.

My husband retorted. “You can’t always get what you want. Get over yourself.” 

“Get over yourself!” Isn’t that a beaut?

A week ago, I found myself in a hospital waiting room while my husband underwent surgery. Another couple entered the small space and checked in with the staff member at the desk. When her husband went off to surgery, the wife took a seat close to the reader board where she could check his progress. Because my husband and I had reported to the hospital before dawn, I nabbed a cozy spot in a corner with a bird’s eye view of everything.

The woman didn’t settle into her seat. She stood. Paced. And then she strutted back up to the desk. 

In a voice loud enough for everyone in the waiting area to hear, she said, “We were scheduled for the first surgery slot, but got bumped. My husband’s surgery was set up three weeks ago.” 

To which the desk attendant said something like, “The surgery schedule often changes.”

While I heard all of this, I did not look up from my book.  

The woman wandered back to her stuff but didn’t sit down. When I glanced up to check the reader board, she spoke. “Is your husband here for surgery?”

“Yes,” I said.

“What time is his surgery?” she asked. 

If I would have had enough coffee in me, I might have realized sooner than I did where this conversation was headed. Hindsight is always 20-20.

“It started at 7 AM,” I said.

Her next query blew all the other HIPA bells and whistles. But like I said my brain was still resting on the warm pillow at home, and I needed more coffee to put it into gear. 

“Who is the doctor?” she persisted, and against my better judgement, I supplied the surgeon’s name.

“Ah-hah,” she proclaimed, puffing herself up like a proud detective who has unearthed the final clue to a tricky crime case. “You took our spot.”

You took our spot? 

My voice stalled at the back of my throat, while my brain screamed curses like you are just a nosy busy body, a troublemaker, and a HIPA violator.

Eventually my tongue scooped up the right set of words. “I’m sure the surgeon had his reasons for changing the schedule as he did.” 

I gave her a benign smile, and then my eyes dismissed her. 

Not because I wanted to be rude. Not because I felt unfriendly or because I was angry that my family’s privacy had been breached. But because I was struggling to suppress a giggle. 

You see, what had suddenly popped into my head were the words, “Get over yourself!”

Indeed. Get over yourself. Deal with what you’ve been given and don’t make a big deal about something that isn’t.

So, whether you decide to adopt our pet family phrase and deploy it either out loud for effect as my husband did, or to yourself as I did last week, the net result will be the same. “Get over yourself” has the power to diffuse difficult moments, and it gives you something powerful to say when someone is being ridiculous.

Stay well, my friends. Thanks for reading. Share a comment if you have one!

Xo Julie

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