An Interview with Author Joanna Good

“What do you say to your child that isn’t legally your child when he reaches out to you in need of something you aren’t sure you’re allowed to give him?”

After reading Joanna Good’s essay in the Huff Post, I knew I wanted to share her message and her story with my readers. I’m thrilled that she agreed to be interviewed for That Girl This Life blog.

Tell us a little about yourself? 

Ah, the age-old icebreaker that I never seem to know how to answer! I just turned 40 years old and have recently realized that I am a fierce motherer. I have two teenagers at home, and my adult birth son just moved to the town next to me. I live for finding and spreading joy, watching apocalypse movies, and going to Brandi Carlile concerts.

How would you describe the story you revealed in March 2024? 

I am currently finishing my memoir, but my first ever essay published at HuffingtonPost covers the theme at the heart of my story – the reconnection between myself and my birth son, and finally becoming the mother he needed.

What prompted you to write about this now? 

I knew I wanted to tell my story eventually, but I had to live it first. I was given the opportunity to take part in an open dialogue between birth parents and adoptees on the Jubilee Youtube channel in January of 2020, and that was the kickstart I needed. Then once the pandemic started, I was able to sit in the silence. What began as journal entries became my book.

What are the main themes or issues in the memoir you’re drafting?

It touches on key themes that everyone can relate to, such as finding yourself, and discovering what family really is. Of course, the book revolves around my relationship with my birth son, but it also goes into his coming out to my as trans, and how, even though I was raised in a religious household in a small conservative town, I was able to accept and support him unconditionally. And in turn, he did the same for me as I learned about my own sexuality as an adult.

Are there any characters, scenes, or chapters that are difficult to address? 

There are two I haven’t written yet, and they are the ones holding me back. My birth son’s adoptive parents were not accepting of his coming out as trans right away. While his dad did come around, and is an amazing father, his mother never did. There was a falling out between us. As someone who can empathize with the struggles everyone faces when confronted with unknowns, there were words said by her that really cut me deeply. 

Finding a way to be truthful and kind is what I struggle with. I think of my son, who reads every draft of my manuscript and offers suggestions—and who is planning on writing the Foreword—and what he, and other adoptees might think of those words and every other word I write. And so, the careful tightrope walk continues, but I believe it has made me a stronger mother and a better writer, so I embrace the journey.

What do you hope readers take away from your story? 

As everyone in the adoption triad knows, each story is different. Each family, each situation, each and every emotion, they are all valid. I hope readers can feel the love and admiration I have for my son, and that they learn that there are so many ways family can present itself– if you are open.

When did you begin writing this book? 

I began at the end of 2021. While facing a hard chapter and falling into a slump in the summer of 2023, I decided to write an essay in order to get my name out there. It was published in March of 2024 which gave me the push and the confidence to work on my book proposal and finish my work-in-progress. 

Can you describe your writing habits? 

I have always felt creative late at night when the house is quiet. So once my kids are in bed, I sit in a dark room with my laptop, close my eyes, and let me heart guide my writing. I also have a brain that never turns off. I  wake up at 4 a.m. to jot down notes and beautiful or heartbreaking phrases on my phone.

What are your greatest challenges in writing this book? Satisfactions? 

I think the greatest challenge in memoir is the kind of self-therapizing that goes into it. It’s been incredibly difficult but also freeing, this allowance to learn and grow on my own. As far as satisfaction, when my essay went viral, I received over 1,000 deep, heartfelt messages from readers that really touched me, helping heal some of the wounds that adoption and life in general gave me. Knowing my story can touch so many beats any challenge I might face.

Is there anything you would have done differently, either in the research, writing process, or publication process? 

OUTLINE! As a new writer I just went for it, and now after finding the spine of the story, I’m moving things around and rewriting complete chapters. Another thing I would have done differently is preparing myself mentally for my essay publication. I was not ready for it to be as big as it was, and I became overwhelmed.

Which authors inspire you? 

I was not a big memoir reader; I’d always preferred the Stephen King style of weird fiction. But then my friend gave me Glennon Doyle’s Untamed, and like many millennial women, I consumed it quickly. When I was done, I began listening to her podcast. Her honestly and willingness to be vulnerable has inspired me, and I have learned something from and become fans of most of her guests. That kind of championing of others is similar to Brandi Carlile’s music. It might be my kryptonite now that I think about it.

What 3 tips of advice do you have for aspiring women looking to write for publication? 

I would say just open yourself up completely. I worked with a mindset coach for a few months because my anxiety was blocking the work that needed to be done in my writing. I learned tips and tricks to acknowledge what I was feeling. I definitely recommend networking and finding a group of writers, editors, coaches, or anyone in the industry who’s been through the process. Support is so important. I have the best editor and coach, one who also grounds me. You will feel imposter syndrome, and according to her, every single writer does, too.

Other works you have published? What are you working on next? 

I had a Tiny Love Stories published in 2023, and that was really fun. I enjoyed the challenge of fitting a whole story into 100 words or less. I have a handful of essays currently, but my goal is to finish my book proposal for my memoir this month.

Anything you would like to add? 

I’ve wanted to be an author since I was six years old. I wrote fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and illustrated it all. I lost that dream when I got married, had children of my own, and became a stay-at-home mom. While I enjoyed that part of my life, I am happy to have rediscovered my love of the written word, and even more so to have my children cheer me on.

Contact links: 

Instagram at @joannagoodwrites 

WRITING NEWS

Julie’s essays, titled “When A Tree Grows,” which she wrote for her monthly column at The Beacher Newspapers took first place in the 2024 Indiana Press Women’s competition. The piece was sent on to compete in the National Federation of Press Women (NFPW) competition where it again received first place as a General Column. If you would like to read the essay, contact Julie at julie@juliemcgueauthor.com.

Belonging Matters: Conversations on Adoption, Family, and Kinship has been named a Finalist in the 18th Annual National Indie Excellence Awards in two categories: Personal Growth and Book Cover Design: Nonfiction.

Follow Me Here

July 11-13, Julie participated in the Midwest Writer’s Workshop.

On July 18th, Julie talked with the Wombmate’s Book Club about her book, Twice a Daughter, and the meaningful role that being an identical twin has played in her life. 

On July 22, Julie will speak to Hazel’s Book Club at The United Methodist Church in Hinsdale, IL about her memoir Twice a Daughter.

In September (1-16th) Julie will join Laura Davis (The Writer’s Journey) and other like-minded pilgrims to hike, write, and paint along the El Camino trail in northern Spain.

In October (18-20th), Julie will attend Florida WritersCon in Orlando, FL with colleagues from the Florida Writers Association(FWA).

Follow Julie by visiting her website, subscribe to her bimonthly newsletters, and listen to previous podcast recordings where she discusses topics like adoption, identity, and belonging.

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