Bridges

Frankly, I prefer westerns, dramas, and adventure films to romantic comedies and sci-fi. Yet if someone proclaims a film outside my favorite genre is worth my time, I’m in.  If I still had a kid in the house, I’d be dragging them off during the long winter break to see the latest family blockbusters. Laughing at the adult humor embedded in the dialogue always gave me a thrill as a young parent.  

I’ve been addicted to stories since I was read to as a small child.  As a young girl I read every Nancy Drew mystery and fell in love with musicals and old Elvis flicks. I babysat a lot during my teen years and after my charges went nightie-night, I flipped channels until landing on an old favorite I’d seen a million times. An oldie but goodie was not only okay, I often preferred them.  If you have to stay in on a weekend night, besides the money, uninterrupted late night TV is the best part of watching someone’s kids (don’t worry, the volume was on low so I could hear a howling infant needing a diaper change).

I’m getting closer to my point. Typically the holidays find my extended family in Montana for an assortment of winter sports.  After hitting the ski trails, we cook in, play scrabble, work puzzles, and watch movies. Often for old times sake we re-watch Tombstone, the version with Val Kilmer playing Doc Holiday.  Sometimes I acquiesce to my girls and watch Bridesmaids for the umpteenth time because we all adore Melissa McCarthy. Besides a good dose of potty humor guarantees a good night’s sleep.

This past Christmas, my husband and I found our selves alone in Montana waiting for the onslaught of family.  He and I were officially the advance team. With that responsibility comes grocery shopping (a real pleasure if you don’t have six other adults loading the cart with their favorite, pricey Kombucha), setting up the holiday decorations, cracking open the UPS cartons and wrapping the gifts. Being the prep squad has its perks and pitfalls.  If you get the cold/flu virus from one of your fellow airline travelers, then you are not dining out in fancy spots your kids would envy. Nope. You’re torching a frozen pizza, gobbling grapes, sipping OJ with your box of tissues and parking in front of the TV for some serious screen time.

So while my husband drifted off during the opening scenes, I watched in entirety “Bridges Over Madison County” starring Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood.  When the movie first came out in 1995, I was pregnant with my fourth child. In that period of my life, helping with homework and attending junior high sporting events took precedent over outings to the cinema for adult movies. I’m still catching up on the blockbusters I missed in that window of clutch parenting.

“Bridges” may have sent my husband into slumber land, but it captivated me. I adored the cinematography and the character development. I sniffled through all the poignant moments, but admittedly I closed my eyes during some of the romantic scenes. Meryl was enthralling as the farmer’s wife, but I had a hard time with Clint as the sought after leading man.  He looked old and ordinary, but that was the point wasn’t it? Slim pickings for romance in Iowa farm country. Isolation may breed discontent or a wandering eye but it might also produce a lasting love.

Regardless of the believability of Clint as a heartthrob, I was hooked on “Bridges” until the credits rolled. When I awoke during the night for a glass of water, my mind puzzled “Bridges” characters, its plot lines, and its many themes. In the days that followed, I couldn’t stop analyzing the film.  Why had the old movie held me in its grip for hours and days? Why am I writing about it now?

“The Bridges of Madison County” is about love.  Who doesn’t love a good love story? And when there’s an intriguing twist on a good plot, it’s compelling.  Riveting. Here’s the thing. “Bridges” isn’t just about romantic love or lust and infidelity. The film portrays that well enough, but besides the one-chance-at-enduring-love theme, the film adeptly touches on other kinds of love.  Dutiful love as it relates to a mother’s love for children that still needing rearing. Responsible love, the kind where the consequences of infidelity are considered and respected. “Bridges” is about committed love as much as it is about romance.

There’s more. Besides all the romance and complicated family involvement evolving on the screen, the film brought forth another aspect of love. Respect. When Meryl’s character dies and her secret is unveiled, her adult children grapple with the dilemma of her burial requests. Their capacity to both love and respect their mother as they deal with the gravity of her secret was pivotal in bringing forth my tears.  

Another love theme in “Bridges” that struck a chord with me was that of enduring love.  On one level there was the enduring love, albeit dutiful, of the wife (Meryl) for her husband, and the enduring flame she holds for the other man (Clint). The love that the adult children have for their mother wavers throughout the discovery of her affair, yet they achieve acceptance and forgiveness. Their love endures. By the time the credits flicker, we know that the love that Clint’s character has for Meryl endures for a lifetime.  Enduring love, so beautiful, so ethereal and so sought after. Well done, “Bridges”.

Besides love, “Bridges” is also about character. The character of a woman tempted into an affair, the character of that woman as she exits an illicit liaison, the character of her children as they navigate her secret. The woman’s character is revealed through her choices, and as she considers her husband and the needs of her children over her own wants.  What I treasured about Bridges was how slowly character was revealed throughout the film and at what cost to all its participants.

This past holiday season “Bridges” hit a chord with me. Love, acceptance, forgiveness and respect became a beacon for me as I dealt with too many dishwashers to unload, too many meals to prepare, and too many guests to satisfy.  I muttered, love and respect, under my breath whenever my holiday patience waned. Puzzling about character, acceptance and forgiveness had my head buzzing too.

Watch “Bridges Over Madison County” if you haven’t viewed it before. Make time to replay it, if you are an old fan.  We all need to be reminded of the importance of love, the challenges and gifts it provides, and the respect and understanding we must invest to feel the benefits of love. Oh, and having the character to navigate life’s difficult choices, that’s something to contemplate too.

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