That Girl, This Life
Weekly posts that focus on identity, family, and life’s quirky moments.
When I was a teenager growing up with my twin sister in the suburbs of Chicago, afternoons often revolved around watching television. One of our favorite shows was That Girl, starring Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie, a young actress making her own way in New York City. I didn’t realize at the time how groundbreaking the program was—the first sitcom centered on a single woman whose story wasn’t defined by marriage or motherhood. Ann Marie was ambitious, independent, and wore her courage and charm like a favorite hat. For two small-town girls, she made the world seem full of delicious possibility.
Decades later, while researching my adoption, I discovered that “Ann Marie” was also the name my birth mother had given me before my twin sister and I were adopted. That discovery felt like a cosmic coincidence, a thread connecting a childhood heroine to my own beginnings—a reminder that our stories often circle back to us in unexpected ways.
So in 2017, when I was setting up my author website and in need of a blog title, That Girl, resurfaced immediately. But I wasn’t merely that girl anymore—the one trying to set herself apart from her twin, find her place in a family of six, and make sense of a closed adoption. I had become this woman: a mother, widow, grandmother, and author still asking life’s essential questions: Who am I? Where did I come from? What does it mean to belong? What was life asking of me, and what should I give back in return?
That Girl, This Life felt like the perfect bridge between the dreamer I once was and the woman I am today. That Girl evokes the daring and curiosity of youth; This Life conveys presence, a grounding in the here and now. Together they capture the essence of my work: how the roles I inhabit intersect with the world around me and how I derive meaning from the ordinary threads of living.
Here, I share stories about family, friendship, loss, resilience, and the quirky, tender moments that give life its character. Some pieces began as journal entries and early morning reflections, others grew out of observations, everyday moments, and travel adventures. All are part of an ongoing conversation between my past and present selves—between that girl who imagined a life full of promise and this woman who is living it, one story at a time.
Welcome to That Girl This Life. I’m glad you’re here.
Transition Writing
When our writing instructor gave us the assignment of transition writing, I drew a blank.
Adoptees Weigh In On The Abortion Dialogue
How do you make sense of the abortion dialogue as it relates to adoption?
The One Thing
Figuring out the ‘one thing’ leads to answers to other questions.
Rejection Goes Both Ways
With rejection at the core of adoption, how do you counsel birth relatives who have been refused reunion?
A Vote For Spontaneity
Give in to spontaneity when it’s appropriate.
Two Fathers, One Dad
An old favorite reblogged: There’s room in my heart to love two fathers.
What Is Late Discovery Adoption?
A fellow adoptee shares her story about hidden adoption.
The Perfect Writing Group in 5 Easy Tips
Heed this advice: to be a writer you need to be a reader.
When Should Adoptees Learn Of Their Adoption?
Putting off the ‘adoption talk’ with an adopted child risks damaging their trust.
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