An Interview with
Rosemary Keevil

Rosemary Keevil has been a TV news reporter, a current affairs radio show host, and managing editor of a professional women’s magazine. She has a master’s degree in journalism and is currently a journalist covering addiction and recovery. She lives in Whistler, British Columbia, Canada, with her partner and her sheep-a-doodle.

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When her brother dies of AIDS and her husband dies of cancer in the same year, Rosemary is left on her own with two young daughters and antsy addiction demons dancing in her head. This is the nucleus of The Art of Losing It: a young mother jerking from emergency to emergency as the men in her life drop dead around her; a high-functioning radio show host waging war with her addictions while trying to raise her two little girls who just lost their daddy; and finally, a stint in rehab and sobriety that ushers in a fresh brand of chaos instead of the tranquility her family so desperately needs.

Heartrending but ultimately hopeful, The Art of Losing It is the story of a struggling mother who finds her way—slowly, painfully—from one side of grief and addiction to the other. Rosemary has been clean and sober since 2002.

1) Why did you write The Art of Losing It: A Memoir of Grief and Addiction?

Originally, I wrote it because I am a journalist and I had a story to tell. I write—that’s what I do. As painful as it was to live through it all again, it became a therapeutic part of the grieving process and my recovery from addiction. I also hope it is a resource for people suffering in similar ways. 

2) And in what ways did you suffer?

I was living a charmed life. I had an interesting career in the media, a doting husband and two precious little daughters. Then disaster struck like a thunderbolt. Over the course of one month, my husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and my brother was diagnosed with AIDS—in 1991 this was a death sentence. Thirteen months later, they were both dead. I held it together for six years, then plummeted into my addiction. For the next six years, I was a “high-functioning” addict and alcoholic, meaning I could still hold down my job as a radio show host. That does not, by the way, make me any better than the homeless addict on skid row. I was tormented by the same internal hell and I was heading along the same path, until I entered rehab in 2002. 

3) Where did you get the title, The Art of Losing It?

On October 7, 2019, exactly one year plus a day prior to my publication date, I received an email from Brooke Warner, my editor and publisher (She Writes Press). Brooke suggested some new titles because she thought the working title, Rose Up, sounded a little religious. Losing It and The Art of Self-Medicating were included in the list of her 17 suggested titles. I happened to be aboard a small cruise ship in the Galapagos Islands with my partner and two other passengers—we were the only passengers on a boat that could accommodate about 16. I decided to hold a focus group with the four of us and our nature guide, and someone combined a couple of Brooke’s suggestions into The Art of Losing It, and I loved it. It appeals to my irreverent streak. After all, I lost my husband, I lost my brother, and I lost my mind to alcohol and drugs. But I survived. 

4) Did being a journalist help you when writing your memoir?

As a journalist it was second nature to thoroughly research non-Hodgkins Lymphoma and AIDS. In addition, I recorded everything that happened day in and day out in a reporter’s steno pad which was in my purse at all times. I had also hoarded all the hard copies of medical information like appointments, test results, etc. I combed through these old files and notes to ensure I got all the medical details correct. 

Additionally, I had kept my own detailed journal of this time, as well as my husband’s diary of the last two months of his life. All this was great fodder for my memoir, but the first draft was a disaster. Brooke wrote: “Your background as a journalist gives you a disadvantage here because journalism is all about telling. It’s about informing the reader of what happened. Memoir is the opposite. It’s about evoking emotion.” If I am to believe my reviews, the finished product evokes emotion quite successfully.

5) This is a story of survival. What were your survival techniques? 

Prayer, strategically-timed breakdowns, and exercise—either jogging or swimming.

I remember the weekend when Barry was going to come home in an ambulance. We knew his death was imminent, and he wanted to die at home. It was a Saturday morning, and I had booked the ambulance to bring him home later that day. I was facing several daunting tasks, including preparing the kids, as best I could, for what was about to happen. But I knew I needed the Zen reprieve of a jogging experience in order to center myself, to inhale the fortitude and courage I needed to tackle what lay ahead of me. 

Breakdowns are necessary—it’s just a matter of timing. When I was on the verge of falling apart but there was too much to do, I had to tell myself, No! Save this for later. Then, I would collapse into bed that night and lose it. In the book I call this a “hysterical grief fit,” which is simply physical grief—shaking, unrelenting tears and nausea, much like being in a small boat buffeted about by huge swells in the middle of the ocean during a thunderstorm.”

6) What’s the greatest takeaway you hope people get from The Art of Losing It?

Acceptance. The only way past it–is through it. I found this to be true for both grief and addiction. Grief is exhausting. People need to accept that and allow themselves the time to be tired, to rest, to look after themselves, and to be sad. Death of a loved one carves out a hole in the soul, but the ragged edges of this hole will soften in time. With addiction, it is important to accept all your shameful behaviour, address the reasons you were numbing yourself, and clear out the wreckage of your past. I also kept the numerous workbooks from the treatment center which were rich in information about my addiction and recovery. 

For me, the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous were instrumental in my learning to understand my dysfunctional coping mechanisms and to try to formulate functional ones. I end the book, “I will never lose the guilt I have over how I parented the girls in the absence of their Dad, but I have acceptance. It is what I am doing about it now that matters today.”

You can follow Rosemary Keevil at www.rosemarykeevil.com

The Art of Losing It: A Memoir of Grief and Addiction is available on Kindle and wherever books are sold

“As much as the first half of the painfully candid memoir is heart-rending; the beginning of the second half is terrifying. Keevil’s drinking was out of control. She commonly mixed alcohol with prescription drugs and, for a while, cocaine. . . . The author, who is working as a reporter again, writes with a novelist’s sense of drama.”
―Kirkus Reviews

“With unflinching honesty and bravery, The Art of Losing It brings readers into a world of love, loss, grief, addiction, and recovery. It is a powerful reminder that what looks perfect on the outside may be crumbling on the inside. Faced with tragedy and an ensuing downward spiral, Rosemary Keevil finds the strength to change, for herself and her daughters. Beautifully written; there is no self-pity here. Her story and her family are an inspiration to those who feel alone in their struggles.”
―Lisa Smith, author of Girl Walks Out of a Bar

“Raw. Honest. Keevil writes with utmost candor and shows us how easily we can bleed over those we love the most but also that, through recovery, families can and do heal. This book tells the truth! I loved it!”
―Lisa Boucher, award-winning author of Raising the Bottom: Making Mindful Choices in a Drinking Culture —

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