That Girl, This Life
Weekly posts that focus on identity, family, and life’s quirky moments.
When I was a teenager growing up with my twin sister in the suburbs of Chicago, afternoons often revolved around watching television. One of our favorite shows was That Girl, starring Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie, a young actress making her own way in New York City. I didn’t realize at the time how groundbreaking the program was—the first sitcom centered on a single woman whose story wasn’t defined by marriage or motherhood. Ann Marie was ambitious, independent, and wore her courage and charm like a favorite hat. For two small-town girls, she made the world seem full of delicious possibility.
Decades later, while researching my adoption, I discovered that “Ann Marie” was also the name my birth mother had given me before my twin sister and I were adopted. That discovery felt like a cosmic coincidence, a thread connecting a childhood heroine to my own beginnings—a reminder that our stories often circle back to us in unexpected ways.
So in 2017, when I was setting up my author website and in need of a blog title, That Girl, resurfaced immediately. But I wasn’t merely that girl anymore—the one trying to set herself apart from her twin, find her place in a family of six, and make sense of a closed adoption. I had become this woman: a mother, widow, grandmother, and author still asking life’s essential questions: Who am I? Where did I come from? What does it mean to belong? What was life asking of me, and what should I give back in return?
That Girl, This Life felt like the perfect bridge between the dreamer I once was and the woman I am today. That Girl evokes the daring and curiosity of youth; This Life conveys presence, a grounding in the here and now. Together they capture the essence of my work: how the roles I inhabit intersect with the world around me and how I derive meaning from the ordinary threads of living.
Here, I share stories about family, friendship, loss, resilience, and the quirky, tender moments that give life its character. Some pieces began as journal entries and early morning reflections, others grew out of observations, everyday moments, and travel adventures. All are part of an ongoing conversation between my past and present selves—between that girl who imagined a life full of promise and this woman who is living it, one story at a time.
Welcome to That Girl This Life. I’m glad you’re here.
Do You Believe Most People Are Good?
Popular country music tunes have catchy lyrics, but the words don’t ring true.
How Do You Honor The Dad You Never Met?
How do you honor the dead, if you never knew them?
Why Does My Birthday Make Me Sad
For adoptees, a birthday can be full of sadness and loss.
Quirky DNA Test Results
Family ancestry DNA kits provided quirky results!
Reflections on Being a Mother, Having Mothers, and Other Motherly Things
Mother’s Day sparked some deep reflections!
Birth Mothers Have Their Own Day
Mother’s Day is a unique occasion for adoptees. Read about an adoptive mother’s love and the special national day for birth mothers.
I Miss My Family
In honor of Mother’s Day, I am reblogging this piece that highlights the love and concern of an adoptive mother for her child.
Two Tough Conversations With My Adoptive Mom
Deciding and disclosing your intent to launch an adoption search can be a tough conversation to have with your adoptive parents.
Three Questions Affecting Adoption Searches
In this blog post we explore common adoption search questions.
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