Hospitality

February was a busy month for me. Quite a few friends decided to come south to Florida for a visit. While most of the people that dropped in were family, some were friends and not all of them were people I see at home regularly. Good as it is to see familiar faces, a steady stream of weekly visitors compromised my routine.  On more than one occasion my husband observed that I was not myself. Balancing my usual activities with increased hostess duties wasn’t easy.

Aren’t we all like that?  Creatures of habit who hate to be inconvenienced.

Perhaps, but I was raised in a household where my folks entertained often.  When my mother invited company over, my five siblings and I were expected to help her get ready. The battered and shriveled slivers of soap in the powder room were replaced with unmarred scented ones. The mangy, terry hand towels the six of us kids dirtied before washing up for supper were swapped out for starched linen guest towels. Following Mom’s lead, my sister and I whipped up tasty appetizers. We put cold drinks on ice in coolers in the garage, or we played with our younger siblings who were getting underfoot. My mother instilled in us the importance of properly preparing for guests, and her example is one I know how to follow.

Yet, knowing is not the same as doing or executing with a smile on your face.

My enthusiasm for running the vacuum, scrounging in the cabinet for Windex, or running to the grocery store for a forgotten ingredient waned after the second set of guests departed.  My attitude needed a huge adjustment before the next wave of sunseekers landed at the airport. I turned to my usual sources of inspiration so I could boost my hospitality game.

Max Lucado writes a daily motivational message that I enjoy reading before the sun rises. He reminds us that the Greek word for hospitality compounds two terms: love and stranger, so hospitality literally means to love a stranger. When you extend hospitality to another person, you send a message: You matter to me.Hospitality and hospital come from the same Latin word which connotes healing, so extending hospitality has the power to heal.

Okay, I get all that, but how is the hostess being healed from so many guests???

Lucado asks us to consider all that being hospitable entails. The host extends an invitation to guests.  When the guests arrive, they are welcomed. Food and drink are offered, or a room made ready.  Schedules are cleared to meet the guests needs.  Time is made for conversation, for listening, for connecting with guests. All effort is made to make the guest comfortable and content.

This short list makes entertaining sound so simple, but some of those boxes are difficult to check.  Not all schedules are easy to clear, especially if guests announce their plans at the last minute.  It is doubly hard, if visitors come and go without much breathing room in between. (What ends up happening is that I get up earlier or stay up later to catch up with personal matters, and then my mood is really compromised!) I wondered how my mom do it with six kids.  For one, she had my twin sister and I, several extra sets of hands. Number two, I remember her being cross before almost every party (sorry Mom). When the doorbell rang though, she pasted on a dazzling hostess smile.

So why do we do it?  Why do we put ourselves out? How are we healed by it?

Hospitality means extending one’s self, which is giving.  The gift of time, of energy, of our attention towards others.  Making the time to treat others as important is a honed skill.  Think about the meaningful side conversations that happen on the end of the sofa or as dishes are washed in the kitchen.  Think of the stuff you learned about someone, that endeared you to them, because of those private off-hand moments.  The gift of those snatched human connections are priceless; they have the power to change us, to recharge us in ways we hadn’t expected.

Fellowship can be invigorating and inspiring. Serving and receiving others, treating them with respect and courtesy is what we are called to do.  (Think: treat others as you would like to be treated.) Entertaining may not always be convenient or effortless. Doing it well is the hard part.  I am going to keep working on it. My attitude I mean, and I’ll be reflecting on the healing part as a payoff.

In the words of Max Lucado: Open your table.  Even more, open your circle. Amen, I will.

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