I’m Adopted, How Do I Find My Birth Family?

Get Your Paperwork

To get started on the first phase of your search, gather your adoption related paperwork and put it in a file close at hand. This will include: your adoption papers, your birth record and/or OBC (see my blog about adoption terms and language), the name of your adoption agency and/or attorney that facilitated your adoption.

If you don’t have it already, request information from the adoption agency that facilitated your adoption.  If it is a private agency, you might only be entitled to the non-identifying information, but that’s something so ask away.  

If you don’t have your original birth certificate, check the state where you were adopted, and see what the current statutes allow.  State laws are changing all the time and you might be able to access information that was previously prohibited. At the very least, you might be entitled to the non-identifying information.  Again, it’s something to work with.

Hit the Internet

Get on social media and plug in what you know about your adoption.  This is a little like shooting in the dark, but it’s a start. Then go to the adoption registries and sign up to exchange information.  Begin with Soundex (ISRR). If you are in Illinois, the registry to exchange medical information with birth family is called IARMIE. IARMIE is the first step in Illinois to attaining your OBC (original birth certificate), which is different than the redacted one you received once your adoption was finalized. The OBC provides you with necessary information such as your birth parents names, the hospital where you were born, your birth parents ages at the time of your birth, and where they originated.  

Remember all this is going to take time, so get ready to practice your patience.   In the course of waiting for answers and search solutions to take hold, do some research (check out the Resources tab on my website), read what other adoptees have to say (read my post about the best Adoptee blog sites), and consider entering a support group either online or in person.

Do A DNA test

This is a fun thing to do even if you are not adopted, but it has a price tag.  Either Ancestry.com or 23nMe cost upwards of $100. I used both since I had trouble locating birth family due to false information— my mother used an alias.  Once I had the correct data, I was able to build a beautiful family tree and tap into a wealth of stored information on both sites. Truly, you don’t know what you will discover or whom.  I found out I was Native American on both sides of my genetic line. It’s fun. Go for it, if your wallet allows.

Other Options

So what if you try all of the above and your search stalls or hits a speed bump?  

You hire a search angel (see my blog on Adoption Terms).  Search angels come in all shapes and sizes, with different price tags and varying degrees of reliability.  Get recommendations from other adoptees you connect with online. To find both branches of my biological family I used a search firm, a PI/detective, confidential intermediary, the post-adoption services arm of my adoption agency, and a genealogist. Email me at Julie@juliemcgueauthor.com if you need any recommendations or advice.

One Last Piece of Advice

Keep a journal.  I cannot tell you how many times I referred back to the notes I kept while conducting my search.  Ten years into my reunion with different relatives, I still rely on it to realign the facts. Good luck.  I’m rooting for you!