Looking Back on the Decade

When the last decade began, the global economy was gripped by a lingering recession, and my extended family was still reeling from my nephew’s suicide. Compounding this, I was besieged by several female health problems. Due to my closed adoption, I did not have any family medical history. As the US dealt with a sagging stock market and the EU extended bailouts, I began 2010 by launching a search for my birth family. I was naïve. I thought it would be easy.

The decade began with news stories featuring the rescue of the Chilean miners, the European terror threat and the dump of WikiLeaks documents.  During these international events, I battled to gain access to my original birth record and the non-identifying information in my adoption file.  I hired an adoption search agency who took my $440, offered rudimentary advice, and stopped returning my phone calls.  Fortunately, I discovered the Confidential Intermediary Service of Illinois (CISI) through which a presiding judge assigned me a social worker skilled in locating members of birth families. 

When Osama Bin Laden was killed in 2011, I entered into reunion with my seventy-eight-year-old birth mother.  On my 52^ndbirthday, my birth mom travelled to Chicago, her first time back since she left my twin sister and me with Catholic Charities. As I introduced her to my three daughters, I felt my world had peaked. The next year Obama was re-elected, and Malala challenged the Taliban. Injured, she healed and continued to fight for the education of women. While these events unfolded, I struggled to locate my birth father. If Navy Seals could locate the 911 mastermind, I believed if I kept at it, I would eventually find my birth dad.

In 2014, a Malaysian airliner disappeared, Ebola broke out and we saw the rise of ISIS. My new search angel, a genealogist in Rochester, Minn., located a man she thought might be my birth dad.  It turned out the spelling of his last name was slightly different than the one given me by my birth mom. Drat. Assimilating my twin sister and me into his current life was not something my birth dad was willing to do. Double drat. Lucky for me, his two children, my half-siblings, were curious about their new sisters. Also fortunate for me, my new brother was open to DNA testing.  Genetic genealogy not only proved our genetic link, but further testing confirmed that the breast cancer in my paternal line was not a deadly gene I had unknowingly passed on to my three girls. Whew.

In the last half of the decade social change gathered momentum.  Bruce Jenner became Caitlyn, which gave a very public face to the LGBT movement. The US elected Donald Trump, The Game of Thrones climaxed, the NFL endured a kneeling protest, and the Cubs won the World Series. 

Many celebrities died. Prince, Doris Day, Tim Conway and Toni Morrison to name a few. I lost both of my fathers.  When Hurricane Irma made landfall in Florida, my Dad, the father that raised me – whom I revered and adored – died from cancer. Eight months later, my other father, the man who refused to acknowledge me as his daughter, died suddenly of a heart attack.

In the decade that is closing out, Chicago elected its first black female mayor and the legalization of marijuana has created a frenzy.  During these years of profound social change, I began to pen a memoir about the search for my birth family. This endeavor led me to launch an author website. To the consternation of my four adult children, I became active on social media. One thing led to another. I secured a gig as a monthly columnist for my local paper. I toyed with a granny name.  Letting my hair go partially gray, two grandsons entered and rocked my world (their parents too!).  Shortly after taking up yoga and switching to fresh breakfast smoothies made with almond milk, my husband fancied wintering in warmer weather.  Oh, and since finding my birth family and starting a second career, my health issues have completely disappeared. Go figure.

A lot has changed in the last ten years, both in my personal life and in the world around us. 

Nothing surprises me anymore. Over the last decade and in the new one tapping at the door, several things are clear. Change is guaranteed, unstoppable. People we love will disappoint, and strangers will offer hope. Our world, both globally and personally, will shift whether we are ready or not.

So, the stock market may finish the year with a record high, our trade wars are unsettled, and we have an impeached president.  It’s anyone’s guess whether the economy will keep chugging along. It may sound trite, but I’m a firm believer in what were yesterday’s problems are tomorrow’s opportunities. Yes, there are crises ahead, but I think we have the mental capacity and tools to address them. Let’s get going.

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