Love Letters

The birthday I share with my twin sister – and now a grandson, too – falls a few days before Valentine’s Day. For as long as I can remember my twin sister and I have celebrated our birthday together, and the star of the show is always heart-themed cakes. In my mind, the two dates–our birthday and Valentine’s Day – have melded into a weeklong fete, festivities chock full of feeling honored, supported, and loved. 

As kids, besides the home-cooked meal my mother made for my sister and me (we each picked our favorite entrée, and one year Mom made lasagna and beef stroganoff), we ate at the formal dining room table. What a treat! All the special breakables made an appearance: the good bone china plates and Irish crystal goblets. In the late 1960s when we were children – before Chuck E. Cheese and places like Leaps & Bound – home parties were all the rage. 

Also, a thing back in that era were the annual school classroom Valentine’s Day parties. What a thrill to scroll through the shelves at our local five-and-dime to select just the right pack of Valentine’s cards to address and hand out to my entire class. Receiving and opening dozens of little envelopes addressed to me made me feel acknowledged and special. Such a heavenly emotion.

Beyond family birthdays and Valentine’s Day, for me, this time of year is poignant, full of honoring. 

As many of you know, my husband of thirty-seven years passed away on Valentine’s Day in 2022. Because of that fact, people often say, “Oh, that’s a shame it had to happen on that day,” or “that will ruin V-day for you forever.” I do not see it like that. Because of our many years spent together building a family and creating incredible memories, I feel my husband’s love most strongly on Valentine’s Day. 

Every grief expert will tell you to write about your thoughts, feelings, and your lost loved one. Writing is healing. Writing is connection. Writing is acknowledging the importance someone plays/played in your life. So just like those sweet, short Valentine notes we sent to classmates and family, the passages we craft to people we love are important to our well-being. Experiencing love, remembering love, and creating loving moments is good for our brain and bodies.

I experienced that “brain magic” recently when crafting the final pages of my forthcoming memoir, Twice the Family: A Memoir About Love, Loss, and Sisterhood (She Writes Press), which comes out in February 2025 – right before my birthday and Valentine’s Day. Writing about the moments when I met my husband, when we started dating, and when we fell in love turned out to be pivotal. Yes, it was cathartic and healing, but it also made me feel closer to him than I have in a long, long time. It filled me with love and joy.

So, I leave you dear readers with a challenge. Even if you don’t send it or show it to anyone, write about the time you fell in love with a special someone, or write about lasting love, or new love, or old love, or pet love, or love of xxx. Fill in the blanks. The point is, try it–if only to feel something new, something different, something you hadn’t felt in a long, long time. To feel something at all.

I’d love (yes, pun intended) to hear about how writing a love letter made you feel and how long that indescribable feeling lasted. Send your messages here.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Follow Me Here

On January 22, Julie’s discussion with hosts, Mal & Kate, on The Funding Love Podcast aired; you can listen here. They talked about all the twists and turns that came along with her search for her birth family. 

On February 5, Julie’s guest blog post about “Secondary Rejection” appeared on Elaine Coleman’s award-winning blog site, The Goodbye Baby: Adoptee Diaries. Check it out, here.

On February 15, Laura Swanson hosts Julie on her Social Work Bubble podcast where they will discuss how social workers can best support adoptees in their search for identity and belonging.

On February 16, find Julie at J. McLaughlin’s on Longboat Key. She will be signing her books and donating proceeds from the “Sip n Shop” event to benefit the Longboat Key Library. 

On February 27th, Dr. Meg Meeker will host a conversation with Julie on the Parenting Great Kids podcast. 

To listen to other podcasts where Julie shares about her books, adoption story, and perspectives on all things related to identity and belonging, go to the media tab on her website.

In Other News:

From now until Feb. 23rd, my book, Twice a Daughter, along with other great tales are featured in a book giveaway. To sign up for a chance to win each of these, go to this link: https://www.universalbydesign.com/seven-book-giveaway-4/

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