Thankfulness & Practicing Zero-based Gratitude

He who can give thanks for little
will always find he has enough.
– Anonymous

Thanksgiving is my favorite American holiday! 

It is not just the pleasure of having family around me, nor simply about the joy of preparing and cooking a bountiful meal.  I favor Thanksgiving because it acknowledges gratitude without the commercial fanfare that defines the holidays which follow. 

The phrase “zero-based gratitude” has circulated for a few years.  It gets its roots from “zero-based budgeting” which is a budget created from nothing.  Traditional budgeting starts with a previous budget, and adjustments are made up or down from there. Because an item was in the budget last time, it is assumed that it still applies.  The line item isn’t eliminated, and as a result, the budget gets more and more padded over time.

The budgeting rationale can be applied to gratitude.

We get used to matters being the way they are in our life, and so we tend to appreciate the next great thing not necessarily the all the good that preceded it. There is much we take for granted. Said another way, it is easy to be thankful for the things that go our way, like when traffic is light, when we lose weight, or win at golf.  We are soured, ungrateful, when the day does not go as planned, when we do not get our way, or when we do not receive what we think we deserve. 

“Zero-based gratitude” means starting the day with zero expectations, so appreciation is at the most basic level.

At the top of my list of things to be grateful for is the gift of life, my life, this life and the people in it that I am privileged to know and love. (Oh, and a special shout out for whoever it was at Catholic Charities that decided twin girls placed for adoption should not be separated.)

Here’s a short list of some of my “zero-based” gratitudes:

When a rainbow fills the sky after a violent storm.

When a courteous driver signals me to merge in front of him/her.

When my grandson smiles or lays his head on my shoulder.

When a friend I haven’t heard from in years phones to catch up.

When my son asks, “How are you, Mom” and waits for a detailed answer.

When my daughter seeks my advice on something other than fashion.

When my mom falls, remembers to press the med alert.

For the nurse that picks Mom off the floor and reassures me she’s okay.

When someone I don’t know very well wishes me a blessed day.

When someone says, “You just made my day.”

When an unexpected person reaches out with compassion, kindness, or an offer to help or soothe.

When my husband notices the small things I do for him without his asking.

For the waves that crash into the shore, the smell of rain, and the first snowflake of the year.

For windows to open, doors to shut, and shoes to wear.

For how a sunny day feels on my skin and what it does to my mood.

For the feel of a pet’s paw upon my lap.

For my twin sister who took every step with me on the adventure of finding our birth relatives.

For my two sets of parents, adoptive and birth- you are both REAL and special.

For the first blood-relative cousins I met this year.

For my friends, all of them: new and old friends, Facebook friends and Instagram followers, writer friends, and fellow adoptees.

For all the good books I have read this year.

For all the great shows streaming.

For my computer and DNA testing.

For continued good health.

Please share your “zero-based” gratitudes

“At the top of my list of things to be grateful for is the gift of life, my life, this life and the people in it that I am privileged to know and love.”

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