The Adoptee’s Guide to Healing, Wholeness & Growth with Lynda Monk

I am so ready for Spring, a time when everything cycles, changes and blooms again — even us. Spring is also perfect timing for this newly launched book by my friend, Lynda Monk, a fellow adoptee and writer who I’ve known since my first memoir debuted nearly five years ago.

Lynda Monk leads the International Association for Journal Writing, an inspirational and educational community for journal writers worldwide. She loves all things journaling and writing and regularly speaks, writes and teaches on the transformational power of journaling and life writing through her site https://lyndamonk.com.

Like most of us, Lynda fulfills many roles and does many things as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, adoptee, creative entrepreneur, writer, educator, and lover of life. She tries her best to make the most of each day, even the challenging ones, with gratitude leading the way.

How would you describe the story you tell in The Adoptee’s Guide to Healing, Wholeness & Growth?

It started out as a journal for fellow adoptees. As I began writing it, it soon became “more than a journal,” resulting in being a book that is part journal, part guide, and part memoir. In it I included many excerpts from my own experience as an adoptee. I share parts of my adoption story in the hopes that it supports fellow adoptees to connect with their own unique story in a meaningful and nourishing way.

I wrote this book as both an adoptee and a registered social worker with early career experience in child welfare, which has helped me understand the tenderness, complexities and strength of being an adoptee. I draw upon my own path of reunion with my birth family, which was lovingly supported by my adoptive parents. I hope it creates a safe, and affirming space for readers to explore identity, grief, attachment, abandonment wounds, and the intricate interplay of nature and nurture. 

The book includes intentionally crafted journaling prompts, evocative quotes, my personal journal excerpts, and compassionate guidance through 49 healing touchstones for adoptees. This book is an invitation to come home to yourself as an adoptee and to explore the beautiful mosaic of who you truly are. It is also a valuable resource for adoptive families, as well as adoption-serving professionals and organizations. 

Who is the publisher and what formats are available?

The publisher, Books That Save Lives (BTSL), and I have worked closely with Brenda Knight and the BTSL team to bring this book into being. They have a true passion for the life-changing power of books and life stories. The publication date was March 17th, 2026, in the United States, and it just released in Canada, where I live, on March 27th. It is available online and through major booksellers such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble, etc. and is being purchased by many smaller and local bookstores. It is available as a softcover book, as well as an e-book on Kindle. We are also in early conversations about producing it as an audiobook as well, that I would record myself, which I am really excited about!

What prompted you to write this book? 

It was somewhat of a spontaneous idea! My friend and colleague, Eric Maisel, author of over 60 books, who I have co-edited and co-authored many books and journals with, suggested that Books That Save Lives (BTSL) consider publishing “journals that save lives” as well. I thought about it for a moment and said: “I would love to create a guided and healing journal for fellow adoptees.” One thing led to another, and this journal, which as I mentioned became a book, was born. 

I have been working on, and off, writing my adoptee memoir for over 25 years. It has lived alongside my life since before my reunion experience with my biological mother, through the years of becoming a mother myself and raising our sons, as well as through the experiences of losing both of my parents to Alzheimer’s disease (my father passed away on my 47th birthday and my mother suffers late stage Alzheimer’s at this time). 

The memoir has had my attention through the fullness of the past two plus decades of my life. It is a bigger and more involved book to write, and this journal felt like something more doable, that I could create and share in the world while I continue to advance my memoir. I have wanted to write something to share in the adoption space for a very long time and I am truly grateful this book has come into being. The process of creating it, has actually brought me fully back into writing my adoptee memoir, which I hope to complete this year and publish in 2027. It’s working title is Another Thousand Kisses: An Adoptee’s Memoir of Loss & Love. 

How did you choose the book’s title? 

The original title was The Adoptee’s Journal for Healing, Wholeness & Growth and that was contracted to be around 12,000 words. However, when writing the journal, it took on a life of its own, as books can do, and soon it was becoming more of a guide, and the journaling elements were part of the larger whole of the book. Hence, the title changed to The Adoptee’s Guide to Healing, Wholeness & Growth.

What are the main themes of the book? 

As I was writing the book and mapping it out, I kept listening within for themes that feel important as an adoptee. 

I started to see some themes taking shape and I began writing about how adoption is not a single event but rather a lifelong experience that shapes who we are as adoptees. It involves a complex weaving of love and loss, belonging and longing, questions and quiet truths carried across time. These became the heart of the themes of the book:

• ROOTS coming into awareness of your adoption experience
• RECOGNITION acknowledging emotional impacts and processing
• RESILIENCE connecting with inner strength
• RELATIONSHIPS building meaningful connections and understanding attachment
• RECLAIM belonging, integration, and empowerment
• REMEMBER honoring growth and wholeness
• RADIANCE living with love and making peace

I created 7 healing touchstones within in each theme to help readers explore the many facets of their own adoption experience and story. For example, the ROOTS touchstone has 7 healing pathways including: Your Adoption Story, Being, Awareness, Awakening, Identity, Truth, Rooted.

There are so many things to think about and be considerate of as adoptees, and there are lots of choice points in this book and the invitation to explore what the reader feels resonates with them in their own unique adoptee experience. These are big themes to look at as adoptees, and as human beings, things related to identity, belonging, lovability, being wanted, nature and nurture and so much more! 

Were there any characters, scenes, or chapters that were difficult to write? 

It is always emotionally stirring going into the heart and depths of being an adoptee. Originally this book was “just going to be journaling prompts” and as I wrote it, I felt instinctually like I needed to include some of my own personal story as an adoptee, by way of example, and being vulnerable, and role modeling to the reader, what it is to write, reflect and journal from some of the bigger questions we might want and need to sit with as we integrate our experiences as adoptees throughout the course of our lives. 

I practiced the medicine I am preaching in the book, which is the healing power of journaling and personal writing, and let my own personal writing become part of what I shared. These excerpts, called “From the Pages of My Journal,” are what book reviewers have commented on as being a very significant part of the book. 

I have a lot of experience as a journal writer, as I have been journaling for over 40 years (I started keeping a diary/journal as a young girl), and I have been facilitating journaling events and workshops for years. I know the importance of practicing self-care while I write things that are deeply personal to me, and often, emotionally stirring. I offer self-care tips for the journaling process in the book. I also know the healing power of this type of writing and I trust the process. This trust is ultimately how I address any challenges that come up along the way.

What do you hope readers take away from your story? 

I hope they take away a deeper connection with their own life story. As I write in the book, being an adoptee is only part of our story, we are adoptees and more. But I believe, and have grown to understand through the years, that being an adoptee is a very formative part of who we are. By the very nature of what it means to be an adoptee, it means that we were born into an original family, born to a biological mother, and we were separated from them for whatever reasons, and we were raised by other people who became our parents and family. 

That is, by its very essence, complicated and life shaping, how impactful this reality is for adoptees, is unique to each person’s individual experience and there are some universal themes that I believe touch an adoptee’s experience of identity and so forth. 

Adoption stories matter, adoptee’s experiences matter. I ultimately hope that adoptees feel validated, loved, and deeply understood and honored as they read this book.

When did you begin writing this book? 

Unlike my adoptee memoir that has gone on for years and has been written alongside the living in my life, this book was written very quickly relatively speaking. It took me a couple of months to think about it and let the themes rise up and take shape. 

Once that became clearer to me, it took about a month of earnest writing and thinking each day to bring it into being. I spent most of July 2025 writing the heart of it each day, and I really loved that process of immersing myself with it day after day. That immersion was a gift I gave myself and this book. I hope the intention and care that I put into writing this book, is felt by readers as they receive it.

Where you did most of your writing for this book?  

I did most of my writing on my computer in my beautiful home office that looks out to Fulford Harbour, where we live along the shores of the Pacific Ocean. I constantly feel held and supported and inspired by nature in my daily life, and in my writing too.

I love starting my day with journaling, putting pen to paper for my own self-care and reflections, while enjoying the first cup of coffee in the morning.   Then I would go to my desk, with my office mate (our dear dog, Sadie) and start working on the book. After a few hours with it, I would take a break and take Sadie for a walk at some of our favorite places in the forest and by the sea. 

I have learned that writing requires movement, both as part of self-care to get up from sitting for long hours, but also to generate the flow/movement of new ideas. I get lots of writing ideas while walking and often dictate into the notes in my phone while in the woods. Sort of like great ideas that come in the shower, only different. 😉

What were your greatest challenges in writing this book? 

One of the greatest challenges in writing this book, was not the writing itself, but rather, the cover design. It had about 10 versions, and I worked with 2 wonderful designers. Also, the interior of the book took 11 versions to get to the finished product. There were many reasons for all of this, but I think it is important as writers to always keep in mind that writing a book is one thing, editing, revising, designing, cover art, etc. is a collaborative process and it can take as much time, or more, than actually writing the book itself. There is also getting early readers, endorsements, and creating the marketing plan for the book. There is the launch of the book and then the work to sell the book and building awareness that it is in the world so readers can find it and benefit from it!

In other words, book writing is only one part of book publishing!

The satisfaction is seeing it all come together and having copies of the book arrive at our door. The deepest satisfaction was the writing itself, and having people read it and receiving such heartfelt and positive reviews about how this book is making a difference for readers. That is truly the most satisfying and rewarding part of all! 

Is there anything you would have done differently?

No, ultimately, there is nothing I would have done differently. The sum of the experience with this book, has been a learning journey as both a writer as well as with the book creation and publishing process. I have learned lots from previous creative pursuits, and life itself, that things take the time they take, and that creating anything often takes more than we ever imagine. 

I think of it like a house renovation––if you have ever done one of those, you know it takes more time and money than you likely ever plan on––book creation can be like this too.

Which authors inspire you?

YOU, Julie, inspire me. I love how you have turned your own experience and story as an adoptee into multiple memoirs that make a difference for others. You are a great storyteller and your own healing journey as an adoptee shines through. 

I am an avid reader! I love many authors across multiple genres including non-fiction, memoir and fiction. I love reading about writing itself, particularly the healing power of expressive writing and life stories. I have many writing teachers and authors who inspire me, including, but not limited to, Eric Maisel, Sandra Marinella, Judy Reeves, Joyce Chapman, Christina Baldwin, Mark Matousek, Sheila Bender, Beth Jacobs, Kathleen Adams, Susan Borkin, Merle Saferstein, Marlene Schiwy, Natalie Goldberg, Julia Cameron, Suleika Jaouad, Mary Karr, Melissa Febos, Jacob Nordby, Ahava Shira, Lorraine Gane, Peter Levitt, Mary Ann Moore, as well as the late John F. Evans and Lucia Capacchione, plus many more! 

What 3 tips do you have for aspiring women looking to write their first book?

1. Don’t wait, just begin. And then, keep going. If you have the instinct to write, then believe the world needs your book. 
2. Believe in yourself. This teaches other people, including publishers and readers, to believe in you too.
3. Find your support people. Writing is a solitary practice, that can be deeply enriched through the support of others. This support can be from one other person, writing groups and communities. Also, I have found it valuable to support fellow writers, we are all in this creative life together!

I really believe support matters! I am grateful for all the support I have in my life, including for my writing. I’m especially thankful to my husband, Peter Allan, who is my greatest champion and cheerleader, in writing and in life. I’m also grateful for our sons, Jackson and Jesse. They inspire every risk I take to do and be my best, including through writing.

Other works you have published? 

I have had the privilege to co-author, co-edit and author numerous books and journals. You can see some of these publications here https://www.lyndamonk.com/books/. 

More About Lynda Monk:

Lynda Monk, MSW, RSW, CPCC, is Director of the International Association of Journal Writing (IAJW.org), an inspirational and educational community for journal writers worldwide. She is a Registered Social Worker and Certified Professional Life Coach known for her profound insights into the therapeutic and life-changing power of journaling. She is the co-editor and co-author of several books including The Great Book of Journaling; Transformation Journaling for Coaches, Therapists and Clients; and Writing Alone Together. She is author of The Adoptee’s Guide to Healing, Wholeness & Growth. She is currently writing her adoptee memoir called Another Thousand Kisses (working title). Lynda lives with her family in a roundhouse on the shores of Salt Spring Island, BC on the West Coast of Canada. 

You can learn more about her work and contact Lynda through either of her websites:

https://lyndamonk.com

https://iajw.org

IN THE NEWS

Jack and Lulu Go to the Tree Farm has been recognized by the Nonfiction Author’s Association with a Silver Medal.

Follow Me Here

April 20, from 6-7:30 PM ET, I will be at the New Buffalo Township Library in New Buffalo, Michigan conducting a workshop on how to write compelling memoir. (This is a rescheduled event.) 

June 20, I look forward to connecting with fellow local authors at the Chicago Writer’s Association conference in downtown Chicago. This year’s event will be held at The Steppenwolf Theatre. 

June 25-28, I will attend the American Library Association (ALA) conference and exhibition at Chicago’s McCormick Place. I will be signing books at the IBPA booth, details to follow.

October 9-11, Next Fall, I will attend the She Writes Press author retreat at the Westin Rancho Mirage Resort in Palm Springs, CA with keynote addresses from Christina Baker Kline, Gina Frangello, and Piper Kerman. Thrilled to be selected as a panelist for the panel, “Marketing for Memoirists.”

The audiobook for Twice the Family, A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Sisterhood released on Audible (ACX) on February 4th. It’s also available on Spotify, Story Tel, Audiobooksnow, hoopla, CHIRP, and KOBO. 

Follow Julie by visiting her website, subscribe to her bimonthly newsletters, and listen to previous podcast recordings where she discusses topics like adoption, identity, family relationships, sisterhood and belonging.

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