Too Much To Think About

As I write this, I’m sitting at a small desk in a downtown Sarasota hotel room. Suitcases containing both summer and winter clothing, my computer, backpack, and tennis bag—all of which have been my constant companions for the past 2 weeks—surround me, as I ponder and absorb the week that just was. 

Why is it that there always seems to be more than one big thing to grapple with at the same time?  

I often muse about whether these circumstances, i.e. too much on one’s plate, is a good thing or not. When we’re flooded with important tasks or responsibilities, it’s hard to give each one the attention that they warrant. My grandmother had an expression I’ve dubbed, “The Rule of Threes,” something I write about in my forthcoming memoir, Twice the Family (She Writes Press, 2-4-25). I don’t know whether events—either blessings or curses—run in patterns of three or not, but I’m conscious of how frequently it appears that they do.

Over the past few months, besides my impending move, I have been fixated on the news and rhetoric surrounding our national election. I’m an independent voter, so this past summer I gave the GOP and Democratic conventions equal time. It’s also my habit to channel surf between major news networks and radio stations to learn what each side is saying on any given issue. Because I spend a lot of time in the car—traveling between my summer home in northwest Indiana to visit with my adult children and grandkids or flying off to Sarasota where I’ve either been moving in or out of a rental while waiting for my new condo to close, and/or evacuating from a hurricane—I consider myself an uber-informed voter. Like many of you, the emotions I have surrounding this particular election run high.

Amid all the election hullabaloo, hurricanes Helene and Milton devastating Florida’s west coast, and the numerous delays on my condo, my daughter announced she’d scheduled the delivery of her third son–my sixth grandson–for November 4th. And somewhere in the swirl of all those weighty experiences, I learned my USTA doubles team would compete in the sectional championships at the USTA National Tennis Center in Orlando, November 6-8.

Separately all those events are notable and bear to have their day in the sun. But lumped together and occurring in the same few days, I found myself feeling so overwhelmed that it felt as if someone had locked me in a freezer for a bit. In my head, I was aware that the week was shaping up to be too full of big moments, but the sequence of unfolding events was out of my control.

So, on Monday, November 4th, I closed on my downtown Sarasota condo just hours before my daughter and her husband headed to the maternity ward in NJ. Shortly after the election polls opened on Tuesday, November 5th, I received a text with my new grandson’s picture and the welcomed phone call informing me that mom and baby were healthy and thriving. And because I had voted by mail, I bypassed the voting booth, packed up my tennis gear, and car-pooled with a teammate to Orlando for the USTA matches. 

Oozing joy and excitement over the arrival of my healthy new grandson and the condo’s successful closing, the USTA sectional tourney felt like the perfect event to round out Grandma’s “Rule of Threes.” Yet, my mind spun between those three significant events like a pinball machine gone wonky. Outside the womb of my happy news triangle, an apprehensive cloud regarding the election and the direction in which our country was headed hung like a wet blanket on a clothesline. 

Early Wednesday morning as I laced up my tennis shoes and headed to our early tennis matchup, I caught the news headlines. The mandate Trump had received was staggering in scope for supporters and naysayers alike. During an unwelcome tourney rain delay, I took a moment to tap into all that swirled in my mind: my new grandson–a new soul in the world, the condo–a much-anticipated new way of life for me, and the political outcome– a situation ripe with unforeseeable consequences.

Where did I come out on all of it—the magnitude and scale of all that there is to consider regarding the election and the breakneck pace of our busy daily lives—the “too much to think about” conundrum?

I’ll start by quoting from the recent column I wrote for The Beacher Newspapers:

Uncertainty will always be a staple in the diet of life. Because of my own personal journey, I’ve come to think of uncertainty as a gateway, a threshold at which we choose to embark upon divergent roads. We can decide to set out upon the road to inaction or stagnation, where worry and lament swirl like hurricane winds and leave us nowhere except miserable and complaining. Or we can step onto paths leading to transformation, where we lean into that which we cannot change, and either trust in the leadership within our communities to rebuild, or better yet, choose to involve ourselves personally. 

If we choose the transformation path, we must embark on our own perilous routes toward personal growth, paths dependent upon our own personal well of resiliency and resolve, where we must invoke the wiliest of virtues: patience.

And so, as I reach into my personal wells of resiliency and resolve and withdraw the necessary patience, I hope the same option is viable for you, too, dear reader. I hope that you can bestow patience upon yourself as you assimilate the election news and deal with whatever other struggles you face. I hope you usher in patience with regards to your fellow man whose opinions, beliefs, and challenges differ from your own. And I hope you dish out an equal dose of patience within your family and toward your community. Courtesy, patience, and hope, are necessary tools in juggling a world where there’s unfortunately almost always “too much to think about.” 

Follow Me Here

In November (14-17th), Julie will attend Story Studio’s four day writing retreat with instructors Rebecca Makkai and Vu Tran at the Guesthouse Hotel in Chicago’s Andersonville neighborhood. The theme for the retreat is “5,000-Word Weekend.” 

On November 17th, Julie will be Pat O’Brien’s guest on the Adoptive and Foster Family Coalition of New York (AFFCNY) live radio show called “After the Kids Move In.” It airs from 6:30-7 PM ET on radio stations 1240 AM and 95.9 FM.

On November 20th, Julie will be Dawn Davenport’s guest on the Creating a Family podcast. They will discuss Julie’s adoption story and her books.

On December 5th, Julie will return to the Social Work Bubble podcast with Laura Swanson. They will discuss Julie’s forthcoming memoir, Twice the Family.

On December 6th, Michael Carlon has invited Julie back on his podcast, “Uncorking a Story.”

In December (10-13th), Julie will be a featured speaker and panelist at Shattering Stigmas: A Summit on Redefining Mental Health Narratives, co-hosted by Tammy Vincent and Jessica Kazaniwskyj. The summit’s goals include redefining mental health narratives, breaking barriers, and creating lasting change. Julie will discuss the some of the childhood traumas presented in her next book, Twice the Family.

On December 19th, Julie will be a return guest for Adult Child of Dysfunction podcast with host Tammy Vincent to discuss the childhood traumas revealed in Julie’s next book, Twice the Family. When the recording airs, the link will post here.

On February 4, 2025, Julie’s new memoir, Twice the Family: A Memoir of Love, Loss, and Sisterhood hits the bookshelves. It’s the long-awaited prequel to her award-winning debut, Twice a Daughter.

On February 13, 2025, Julie will be a return guest to Thriving Adoptees podcast with host Simon Benn. They will discuss Julie’s forthcoming memoir, Twice the Family.

March 14-16, 2025, Julie will attend the Tucson Festival of Books. You can find her in the Adoptee Authors booth where she will be signing her books.

On March 21, 2025, Julie will be signing and selling books to benefit the Longboat Key Library at J McLaughlins on Longboat Key. Come out and show your support at this popular “Sip ‘n Shop” event.

Follow Julie by visiting her website, subscribe to her bimonthly newsletters, and listen to previous podcast recordings where she discusses topics like adoption, identity, and belonging.

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